Hello all! How’s the start of December been for you? I had a bit of a wobbly start (I like to call it a ‘blip’) to the month due to stress and anxiety as I’m finding it tricky to the CBT techniques my therapist taught me a couple of months ago. My anxiety at the moment is pretty high and sometimes I find it very difficult to concentrate on small things, entering a room full of people or talking to a group of people; it almost becomes overwhelming to the point where it sets me right off.
Lately, I’ve been reading books to take my mind off things when I’m feeling anxious (why are you always so loud and noisy?!) as my thoughts are constantly cycling around my head 24/7. When I’m reading it gives me that break from thinking; thinking as in thinking about things that will, might, could, should happen. Thinking about things I’ve done, said, when I’m with people… it goes on. And sometimes that thinking isn’t helpful either. I recently read Matt Haig’s Reasons to Stay Alive which is a detailed account of when he went through depression and anxiety in his early 20’s. This one line from the book really resonates with me and is embedded in my mind; he’s so on point with mental illness (in this context he is talking about depression)- it’s like your mind is on fire but no one can see it:
To other people, it sometimes seems like nothing at all. You are walking around with your head on fire and no one can see the flames.Haig, Matt. Reasons to Stay Alive. Canongate, 2015. Page 2.
I couldn’t put the book down. I read it in about four days between my lunch breaks and when I was on the tube- any free time I could squeeze into the day I’d be reading it. There were a lot of things I could relate to especially when he was describing the symptoms of anxiety.
I’d really recommend giving it a read as Haig talks about a subject matter which can affect anyone at all stages of their lives.
Thanks for reading this as always and have a relaxing and mindful weekend.